God Only Knows...
by Erin Prewitt on April 6th, 2015

It has been one year, 52 weeks, and 365 days since Chris has been gone.  That feels like a lifetime ago and yet, it also feels like just a handful of days.  Part of me still has this sadness and shock that someone like Chris is not walking this planet.  Then there is another part of me that has this knowingness that Chris is right here beside Izzy and me.  He is able to love us and protect us in a way he could never do while alive.  I sit here sharing this with all of you because I am finding life more inclusive.  It is so much more of an “and” or “both”, rather than “this” “or” “that”.  A year later I have a life I truly enjoy that makes me happy “and” I miss my Prewitt.  It is 6:45am on a Saturday morning, and he would be wide awake right now, bubbling over with excitement for the day he had planned for our little family.
Enter this wonderful and whimsy video, “God Only Knows…”  (http://ow.ly/LfQ7M) what I would be without Chris.  The 19 years I shared a life with my Prewitt or this past year I have had him watching over me in spirit.   The song says, “God only knows what I would be without you…” it really speaks to the thoughts and feelings I have had lately.  In the 19 years I had Chris walking beside me in life he was all about living, living fully.  Chris loved being alive, he loved the exploration of life, all the many things there was to see, learn, do and EAT!  Chris’s gift to me was appreciation of being alive.  He showed me living fully was an art form and if done properly you can have a life without regrets.  I know this to be true because the day Chris died I had no regrets.  Not one time this past year did I say or think, “I wish I would have done…” or said, “I wish I would have said…”  Chris and I deeply loved one another and spoke to it often.  Together Chris and I created a life where love ran deep and making dreams really did come true.  It is because of Chris that I continue to do the same. 
Now I am creating a life full of zest and wonder without my Master of Ceremony, my planner.  If it had been me to pass last year I would want Chris to pick up where I left off.  I would want him to not only stay among the living, but thrive in his life!  If I was the one to die I would hope Chris would let the life we lived together ignite him and drive him to make gorgeous, beautiful memories long after I passed.  I would want Chris to think, “God only knows what my life would be without Erin in it and BECAUSE she was in it I learned how to love and live fully.”
I invite you to join me in creating a life full of magic, whimsy and wonderful moments, and a place that celebrates being alive!  Your life can achieve these goals while honoring the ones who have passed.  What would life be like if all the people who came in contact with each of us said in our wake, “God only knows what I would do without (your name here)?” 

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Whitney Drolen - April 6th, 2015 at 2:22 PM
You are such a strong and inspirational woman. Thank you for your beautiful story of love and forgiveness.
Carrie Collins - April 6th, 2015 at 6:16 PM
I look forward to reading your blogs. You always bring me to tears...you said once I was the emotional one...but they are happy tears full of hope for the future. I am better to have known you! Hope to see you soon.
Megan - April 6th, 2015 at 7:59 PM
You truly are an inspiration! Thank You!
Ira Kruskol - April 6th, 2015 at 8:23 PM
Beautiful...simple and beautiful....
Suzanne Gagnon - April 6th, 2015 at 10:12 PM
You are truly a blessing to our community. Thank you for continuing to carry your husband, our colleague and mentor, Chris Prewitt's joy for life on. May you and Izzy be blessed!
Robin - April 6th, 2015 at 11:29 PM
I feel so blessed to have met you and know your story! Words can't express the admiration love and respect I have for you!
Heidi Johnston - April 7th, 2015 at 7:04 AM
Love and respect you so much my friend. Thank you for sharing yourself and your journey with us all.
K.D. - April 7th, 2015 at 10:11 AM
It has been over two and a half years since my husband was killed as a result of a head on collision. After reading your words I wish I had spend this time creating a life of zest and whimsy instead of struggling each day with the loss and helplessness, overwhelmed with responsibilities. Starting today, maybe I too can turn things around for myself and my kids....thank you
Erin Prewitt - April 12th, 2015 at 12:01 PM
Thank you all for your sweet, sweet words! I humbly carry them in my heart.

Kim - April 7th, 2015 at 1:04 PM
So beautiful and hopeful.
Rene' Ellis - April 7th, 2015 at 1:29 PM
Thank you so much for this, Erin.
CeCe Johnson - April 7th, 2015 at 8:18 PM
Erin, you are truly amazing! What a beautiful way to honor your husband. I feel Chris' inspiration frequently, urging me to live life to the fullest.
derek - April 8th, 2015 at 10:27 AM
You are so amazing Miss Erin. We are so blessed to have met you.
K.J. is so proud of you. I love hearing about your journey and the inspiring and passionate things you are doing. I love that she has amazing, beautiful, and strong women like you in her circle. You inspire us both. Keep doing you sweetie. We miss you.
Nancy Archuletta - April 8th, 2015 at 6:41 PM
Oh my gosh, what beautiful work God has done in both you and him. You, too, are an inspiration.
SJ - April 8th, 2015 at 7:14 PM
Your husband was my son's teacher a few years ago. He is still in the heart of my son who recently became a Marine. He thought of him while getting in boot camp and I even sent him newspaper articles and your thoughts on forgiveness. He is now serving in Japan. However, in his bedroom here at home, your husband's pictures sits on his dresser. He continues to inspire and I know his spirit is with you and your daughter. Thank you for inspiring us as well!
Cathi Nye - April 9th, 2015 at 12:05 AM
my heart and thoughts are singing with you
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